[Gemara D'Jessica]

I’ve been a vegan since the beginning of February. I was going back and forth in my head over what I would do in terms of holidays. Definitely no cow or chicken flesh [ya see what I did there? ;-)], but eggs were something that were on my maybe list until about a week into February. I realized that I simply could not. Just was not going to happen for so many reasons — none of which I’m up for sharing at the moment. I had a completely vegan Purim and I don’t feel like a missed out at all. I ate salads and brought some of my homemade black bean and sweet potato burgers to the seuda[Purim meal] and I felt happy and satisfied. And while my food options will certainly be limited come Pesach, I am actually looking forward to veganing it up for that holiday too. 

I have started singing “Adon Olam” every morning with Asher. He loves it and he likes me to read the English part to him too. And every time I read the English… I don’t know… I just start tearing up. Those of you who know me personally know that I am not an openly emotional person and, though I have become more emotional since having children, tearing up from a prayer just isn’t something I’m used to. I can’t exactly explain what it is that makes me so emotional when reading this prayer. Maybe because it makes me feel less insecure as a caregiver to two young boys and these are tears of relief? Maybe because it makes me realize how little control I have? Or maybe it’s because I am reading this now as a parent and, on some level, understand God’s protective feeling over us a little better and why He does the things that He does. Either way, it is very moving piece for me and I wanted to share it with you. (This is the translation from Asher’s Artscroll Children’s Siddur.)

Master of the Universe,

Who was always King,

even before anything was created.

When nothing will exist anymore,

only He will rule.

Hashem always was here,

Hashem always is here,

and Hashem will always 

be here.

Hashem is the only One,

there is no other god.

Hashem has no beginning

and no end,

Hashem is amazingly strong. 

Hashem is my God, and my Redeemer,

He helps me in my times of trouble.

I am safe with Him,

He is there when I call to Him.

He watches over my soul

when I go to sleep,

and when I wake up in the morning.

Hashem is always with me,

and I shall not be afraid. 

I don’t understand it, but every year I get sucked into the whole “new years resolutions” thing. Maybe it’s because so many of my online friends talk about it or maybe it’s because I really, really like making lists. What ever the reason is, here are my goals for 2012.

[1] Get to my goal weight. Well, get within 10lbs of my goal weight. As I’ve said for the past 2 years, I have no idea what my “normal” weight it. My long term goal weight is 135 and for my height that is reasonable. But just in case I’m meant to be on the heavier side of healthy for my height, I’ll be happy to get to 145. 

[2] Do a weekly photography blog and stick with it! Two years ago I started a Project365 (that’s 365 days of pictures) and made it to the middle of August then quit. This year I’ll be doing a 52 week project - that’s one photo a week. Definitely more doable. 

[3] Getting my thyroid under control without pills. I’ve been hearing more and more about nutrition as medicine. I need to read more about it and get in contact with a doctor who is comfortable with this idea and willing to guide me along before taking the plunge though. 

[4] Make mornings as stress free as possible. Firstly, PRAYING. My oh my, how I have fallen in this category. I went a full year with saying brachot and shema every single morning, but once Kovi was born that all went down the tube. [No, I am not blaming Kovi for my lack of davening. Just that the birth of Kovi coincides with the time I stopped praying daily.] I say Modeh Ani and Shema (at night) with Asher, but I want to start doing more [and teaching Asher more]. I think brachot and (day time) Shema are a good starting off point. And praying will definitely ease my stress level - always does (especially shema. The alone time behind my hand for those seconds that it takes me to say it are priceless.)I will also start going to sleep earlier so that I will hopefully feel more refreshed in the morning. I will put mine and the boys clothes out the night before so that that is one [well, three] less thing(s) to worry about. 

[5] I feel like I should have a 5th thing, but I just don’t. I’m sure someone will tell me what should be here. *** Immediately after posting this I realized what #5 will be: run a 5k! I’m currently on week 4 of Couch25k and I love it!